Overcome Postpartum Anxiety (Part 1) - The Hidden Emotion
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Overcome postpartum anxiety with the hidden emotion treatment model.
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6 Ways to Get More Rest When You're a Sleep Deprived New Mom
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The sleep deprivation is probably one of the hardest challenges to get through during those first few weeks and months of becoming a new parent. Postpartum depression and anxiety can make it more difficult for you to get the rest that you need. The advice of sleeping when the baby sleeps was not helpful in my case.
Read MoreObsessive/intrusive thoughts vs. actual risk of harming baby
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Did you know that about 91% of new moms and 88% of new dads have scary, intrusive thoughts? (Kleinman, K.; Wenzel, A., 2011. Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts.)
Intrusive thoughts/postpartum OCD vs. actual risk of infanticide
Intrusive thoughts are probably the most misunderstood postpartum symptom. This is when you have thoughts or images of harm coming to your child by your hands, someone else's, or something. These thoughts are disturbing to the mother, difficult to control, and doesn't align with her values.
Everyone freaks out when they hear about these scary thoughts, even healthcare providers oftentimes do not know how to respond in a helpful way, magnifying the anxiety and fears in the mother. Our media has dramatized instances of infanticide and stigmatized postpartum depression, forever linking the two. Instances of infanticide are extremely rare and the state of mind of a woman that leads to infanticide is actually very different from intrusive thoughts.
Women who have followed through with infanticide were often suffering from a rare postpartum illness called postpartum psychosis. In that psychotic moment, they may believe their baby is possessed or will suffer forever, so ending their life was actually seen as an act of mercy. It's counter-intuitive, but truly an act of maternal love in that state of warped reality. So the major difference is the scary thoughts do not disturb the woman with psychosis, it seems to align with their values at the time. So paradoxically, the anxiety and cocern about the scary thoughts is a good sign.
I want to clarify that not all women who suffer from postpartum psychosis are at risk of harming their babies. I've treated several women with postpartum psychosis after they were stabilized in an inpatient setting, and there was not a risk of harming their babies. I also want to additionally emphasize that even in the cases of postpartum psychosis where infanticide is a risk, reporting them is still not as helpful as getting them help and inpatient treatment. They can be stabilized and fully recover after some follow-up care.
You are seriously not the only one going through this.
If you are suffering from intrusive thoughts, you are seriously NOT alone and NOT a terrible human being for having them. We didn't ask for this anxious symptom. They're also a lot more common than we think. It's just that no one dares to talk about them due to the fear of judgment and uneducated, knee-jerk responses.
Scary thoughts are a common phenomenon with all new parents (Abramowitz, Schwartz, & Moore, 2003) Research shows no correlation between a mother's scary thoughts and her acting on these thoughts ( Barr & Beck, 2008)
Almost all of the women I've treated have had some form of intrusive/obsessive thoughts. I've found if there is no psychosis (hearing voices, seeing things others don't see, paranoia, beliefs that are out of touch with reality) or mania (not sleeping for at least 48 hours, hyper-verbal speech, impulsivity, disorganized thoughts), my client's intrusive thoughts have been completely treatable in an outpatient setting.
So how do I deal with the scary thoughts?
💖 Try the Positive Reframing tool: Write down how you feel when the thoughts come up (e.g., scared, disturbed, sad, anxious, frightened, ashamed, etc).
Then write out what each of these emotions show about you as a person and a mother that's positive and true about you. This can be a bit challenging when you're down, but here are some examples:
Feeling disturbed shows that I really don't want harm to come to my baby.
The anxiety is making me extra alert and cautious so I can protect the baby, this show I really care about my baby's well-bein.
My shame shows my high standards and desire to get better, so my thoughts can align with my values again.
My sadness shows I value a healthy connection between me and my child that's not where I want it to be right now.
I want to repeat that scary, intrusive thoughts are COMPLETELY TREATABLE. This first technique is just from 1 of 4 treatment models that I use to treat intrusive thoughts/postpartum OCD in my postpartum women. Visit my Facebook Page or YouTube channel to watch all 4 parts.
For more tips and techniques to feel like yourself again, click here for exclusive access to my free guide and 4-day e-course for overcoming postpartum depression and anxiety.
Hi, I'm Thai-An. I'm a postpartum therapist and mother who is passionate about helping pregnant and postpartum parents overcome depression and anxiety so they can feel like themselves again and enjoy life with their baby and family. After overcoming my own battle with postpartum depression and anxiety, I opened Lasting Change Therapy, LLC in South Oklahoma City to dedicate my counseling practice to helping families have postpartum recovery and wellness, and I love it!
Do you have pregnancy or postpartum depression/anxiety? Find out with this free screening tool.
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Are you wondering if you have prenatal or postpartum depression and anxiety? Here is a quick screening tool I've put together to help you identify the main symptoms of depression and anxiety. My hope is that perinatal mood disorders can be regularly screened by doctors so women and men can get the help they need as soon as they need it.
Read MoreA Therapist's Story (Part 3): How I Overcame Postpartum Depression and Turned my Pain into my Counseling Practice
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This is the 3rd and last part of my story. I talk about my recovery and how I overcame my struggle in hopes of giving a struggling mom or dad the gift of hope. This was a gift that was given to me in the depths of my struggle, and I want to pass it on.
Read MoreA Therapist's Story (Part 2): My Battle with Postpartum Depression & Anxiety
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My name is Thai-An. I am a therapist and mother, and this is my story about my struggle with postpartum depression. I feel a bit exposed and nervous about sharing my story publicly, but my hope is that it will help another new mom or dad in the same place know they're not alone. I hope my vulnerability will give another person the strength to share their story and seek help.
Read MoreA Therapist's Story (Part 1): My Struggle with Infertility
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My name is Thai-An. I am a therapist and mother, and this is my story about my struggle with infertility. I honestly didn't think my infertility struggle was significant enough to put on its own blog post, but with some encouragement from friends, here it is. I also want to change the mindset that our pain isn't valid because others have been through much worse, because it still is. This story is meant to give background to my postpartum story.
Read MorePostpartum Depression and Anxiety: Symptoms & Treatment
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Are you a new mom who feels like you've completely lost yourself? Are you feeling sad and scared instead of excited about motherhood? Find out in this article whether you may have symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety.
What is postpartum depression? How is it different from the baby blues? How is it different from postpartum anxiety? How long will my suffering last? Where can I get support and/or therapy? Read on for answers.
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